Warped and Brainstorming

Sometimes, an amount of years can change the meaning of a lot of things. I think the most commonly acceptable reflections of a person are from middle school to high school until the person ages to 20 to 30. There are some instances of high school Stockholm's where some people could remain victims of labels or bias; but there was a time when people were more open-minded to understand that the sky was the limits when it came to a person to be becoming of something. In years passing, people seem to be more set in their ways and because people are the official adults that they are, there is usually not the same mind frame of change. People are known to have some kind of reputation. Some people have stronger predictabilities from making the same choices over time. While people can still change in later ages, and that people should be open-minded in spontaneity and changing or evolving into something else, it seems more that people get stuck in their own predictable statistic....... While I could relate this generalization in a number of different paths, I'm being relationship minded right now. And even more specifically, I'm thinking about Jon. I know I am not talking to him directly in this blog and am making him a third person. However, this is still between just me and Jon. Jon has kept me guessing on several different occasions. While I feel I have sometimes figured him out, and that he is sometimes aware and additionally continues to feed me on the way I have figured him out, he sometimes seems to have this fight or problem that I don't have him figured out. It has been a long game and death match to me. Suppose Jon has been dead set on having me this whole time and that he owns up to his entire Stockholm and that his intentional purpose of it and leading me on was really because he seriously had to have me and seriously end up with me? Suppose that were the case. Of course he had led me to believe otherwise with several different women from time to time. What I continue to remain upset about is the choices he has already made. WE DIDN'T COME FROM MIDDLE/ HIGH SCHOOL TO ADULTS. WE WERE ADULTS TO ADULTS. If he is seriously set on wanting to win me and my heart, what is to say of everything? What is to say of the way he had always handled me? He put others before and above me. He sometimes does not want to give up on the comparisons and the gaming of it all, when who I was and am as a person was of no competition in the first place. Is it that he is being a true narcissist and he feels so much pity on me that he gets in his aggressive pursuits? Does he not understand that the approach still has no real love? I don't want him or any man to be with me because he pities me for his self. I know I have cried for a pity fuck before, but not one from the same man who broke my heart. I did see a sign online awhile ago of his and Bree's violent vanities once again on the same rampage of belittling me and pitying me. Even though Jon may be presently staying more isolated with me; does he still think my life is his and Bree's (or any other sick rapist god complex bitch's) life for the taking? He seems he feels misunderstood in what his motives are, but his actions still have yet to prove me wrong about anything. Why does he continue to keep going nowhere with me? What is it that Jon can't get out of himself? Does he have any kind of message at all? When he has been a Smith this whole time, he wants to fight to be called a Jones. (I am a Jones).