Need more certainty

Oh Colin, where do I begin? I see some different signs and you're still mostly in my head. I am so seduced. Although I think I feel things, I wonder about you more than I know or believe. Are you really jealous of my crush on Chris Cornell? Is it that you honestly do get jealous or possessive or you're being pussy whipped and playing along with me for whatever reason? I find you to be a difficult truth to believe. ...... It feels like we move so fast with each other and it is hard to comprehend and I feel I live in two separate and questionable worlds. ..... I have some fear and it is the arbitrage and giving a kid a piece of candy. My biggest paranoia is with Chris Z. When we first crossed paths over a year ago, besides me thinking you're Jon, I also thought you had a share with Chris Z. I don't give him the credit now, and I know when I look at you, I really am looking at you. I'm just afraid of the credit that people give themselves. I may eventually have more feedback for Chris Z. and know I don't know everything about him, but he isn't my focal point right now............ Incase you haven't noticed Jon and Kim's creeper; I hate the terror that is in my life right now. They have always been the same violent deserving tyrant rapist nigger pigs. I know they think they win in their vanity but they just don't. I hate how suffocatingly vain they are. I don't want Jon in my life and I don't want to have to see, hear, or put up with him ever again. He is a severely sick and ridiculous mad man who knows no responsibility. I can't beat him off of me enough. ......... I don't want to talk about it anymore. I really don't have much else to talk about. I plan on lounging away the rest of this Sunday.