Whether it be Pimps or Catholic School Teachers

Dear Anderson,

I will have to go back and watch your show last night, but I will start with what I heard because it is already going to be enough of a long detailed discussion. Good before Bad: If you are on my side or not, it was nice of you to act like you are on my side in the timing of things even if I'm not on someone else's clock. While I do not see you as being accurately understanding, it is nice to see that you are trying to do the right thing. I know that not everyone is always going to be reliable or on my side, but it was nice and of some relief to see that you were making effort to side.
(In a side trail, I don't really know a lot about the Paterno case, I don't think I am on the same page. I'm not standing in the way if you know the complete and accurate story of what is going on in their life, but I don't take the newsreporter job too seriously or literally.)

What my present focus is the names that I mentioned yesterday. I know it is really frustrating on both of our ends for clearness and clarity. I feel blind, while with you personally, I have doubts at whose side you are on, how knowledgeable and aware you are, and if we are on the same page. It doesn't seem like we are on the same page......
Personally, I hate the challenges I have that are being handed to me. I think it is simple minded, stupid, insulting, and a block and hold back to the kind of experience I want, the challenges I want, and the goals I want to achieve. In going back to square one and the subject of feeling rape, the example of my expression is how I feel raped to be forced to win the approval or satisfaction of others.
Denny, Erin, Maggie, and Jon are not the only people who have treated me like a territory to own and demand me to answer to them. I have run into several other people who have threatened my survival and threatened me with their personally defined slavery and to be forced and subjected to whatever they think. They have been consistently aggressive throughout the whole time in their own reasoning to say they deserve to be possessive or have some entitlement over me.
Of course I am bothered by juvenile comments and some sexual harassment. Of course I have my own offenses. If someone were to seriously and extremely force me into their pigeon-holing whether it be pimps or catholic school teachers, I would choose to be a stripper. That is if it is do or die in my own personal perspective.
There are some things that I already know Erin, Denny, Jon, and Maggie have said in trying to ruin me. There is obviously going to be some gossip and words said that I won't know about. I know it is not my fault that I somehow keep getting damned to them. I don't want them in my life at all. This blog is not meant to be their opportunity to have any kind of debate or say in my life. They never have won with me; they will never have my respect.
While there are a list of enemies who want to ruin me or trash talk my name, these are the primary ones that I would consider the most codependent and most competitive in their own personal Chicago musical black sheep fueds. Maggie especially will always want us to be comparable in every which way. My sister can be the same in her codependency as well. I feel that while other people are responsible for rigging me in the workplace, that their gossip is probably the ones that get to win the rig. While I'm the one who is losing my job and survival; I will always see them as losers even if they get away with rigging me with their trash talk and forced violence time after time.
If I could draw a picture at what some of their main gossip is to use against me "ever daring to have a job." (seriously, how dare I?) it would be:
They think I'm psycho, psychotically suicidal, stupid, my behavior doen't qualify under what they would define as being acceptable, bankrupt, too poor for minimum wage, too violent, yada yada yada. They would entitle themselves or manipulate other people in saying I should have no rights to my motherhood. (The movie Hugo is the example of them going psycho on me).
(Of course this is not how I see myself but how I know they see me and try to ruin me with their methods of manipulation): (and no I don't have a seaweed).

They do scapegoat me. They do not have regard that I do not respect them nor have any tolerance for their provokings, possessiveness, and scapegoating. How dare I not let them in my social life and stamp across my forehead "No Trespassing." How dare I call them rapists after they are clearly trying to be controlling and possessive of me that is severely against my will? How dare I seldom let them get a rise out of me?

Anderson, I just may end up being a stripper. I'm not considering either the pimp predator or the catholic school teacher predator the one who wins in me being a stripper. I understand survival is survival and I already know for myself what my real drives are. And because I'm already most likely taking fun out of being a stripper in some time of future, I just may be damned as well for taking the fun out of it. Then, I just may be forced into being someone's mail order bride or homelessness. I have some instinctive level of trust in how much you would really take me seriously.