End of week thoughts

Today was a good and bad day.
Horrible because this is the only day of the week I have a chance of making money and there was a strong forecast of rain, so I never went and didn't make any sales.
Good, because I finished off a website for my crafts anyway to have another route to make some sales.
I'm so mad because the day looked like it was determined to rain with how it has been raining, how dark the sky was in the morning, how the trees looked with the sky if it were going to rain more. It never rained even one drop.
Still, I finished my website.

I was surprised to see a person come out of the blue this week. I see him around every so often. I have a hard time trying to figure out what he is all about. He could definitely be a major puzzle piece. He could also be a new, unfamiliar, and most likely some sort of dark game where he may just be pure hate or something to figure out. I have a feeling that I'm not unfamiliar to him at all. I remember in my diary days several, almost 10 years ago how much I screamed that stalking doesn't count. There is a difference of chemistry in personally stalking someone and interacting person to person.
In recent times, because I've grown numb in a number of ways, and that time can't be erased, and nothing may ever change, Luke isn't the Superman he once was. I'm not necessarily screaming for a white knight, but Luke who comforted me with the 4th ammendment and rights to privacy, just isn't a Superman anymore. He is a hot memory that I treasured at the time. If I were ever to meet Luke in present day, it would be a completley different story and scenario. The subject/bait of privacy just wouldn't be gluey that much. It would be trying to get to know each other in a completely different way. I'm not saying he is or isn't interested. I don't always believe everything I see or know what to believe.
Back to the previous guy. I think I'm going to get around to look around at past things people have said and check out a few shows that have already passed by that I never thought would have anything come about.
It's nice to still see that Carter guy. He usually has a video every single Sunday. I feel I've been given more reason to be egocentric with him and that it is all about me when he has his video postings. Not sure how to completely get him yet. How symbolic his numbering may be, the details, and how he really may be trying to get a message across. I feel a little challenged to up my mosaics a little. It is money issues because I can barely afford my crafting materials. It is also a sense of self-possession because of past grubby people who wanted to tell me how to do my art work. I hate the way it gets complicated when some people observe me and assume and I think its just asking for another oil rig when I have to suffer at the arrogance of other people. I definitely need some sort of new clay or plaster. I think he called it something with an "M." I figured since it is already a decoration, I shouldn't worry so much with what my projects are purposed to be: decoration/art.
I also have a new place that is definitely corporate that I'm interested in applying to. I guess my fear this time is my usual stress and agitation even though it already feels it is siding with me. The agitation is being pigeon-holed and not getting enough breathing room and having assumptions made and words said that I can't do anything about. The typical systematic ways of doing things. If they want to give me a chance, why shouldn't I do the same? I have a list of places I'm going to apply to for tmw.

I always feel overwhelmed even when I don't have a job. So many things to know. Being poor can stand in the way. So many things to be agitated and frustrated with.
I am going to be ok.