I wish I knew enough to get a better grip and find ways to do more damage.
I'm angry and I'm so fed up with this shithole life.
So what makes me any different than my other predators who all end up with the Gadaffi label?
I wasn't initially a Gadaffi.
I took so many other choices of action compared to the other Gadaffis.
Gadaffi just won't change, go away, or take no for an answer.
I may have different tactics and moves, but right now, it seems the only thing people have been operating with is violence. Nobody is going anywhere with me, and I can admit that I'm not getting anywhere with anyone either.
I don't think most Gadaffis will ever come to terms with their realities. Instead, they would rather unintelligently rant and ramble and be aggressive to save their own dumb fat asses.
I fucking hate life.
I think right now, all Wisconsin connections are being Gadaffis with "maturity," and it doesn't even matter what I say. "They're the rubber and I'm the glue." I can't wait until a real smart person steps in. I can't wait. I feel so insulted by what I'm forced to lose by.
I have ideas of people who talk. I don't know for sure. It is like losing to a tabloid. People don't even ask. They don't even take the time to get to know me. They don't even test a person with any sort of intelligence. This is such chaos.
Speaking of Wisconsin, I am going to go with some hunches. Amongst so many talkers, I think one of the main ones could be Brandon B. my old neighbor in W.V. In my side of the story to describe his reputation with my own personal experience, he really is a talker. He is a major provoker. I'm really not surprised he is in the military because of all areas to have skills or talent, he is definitely the violent fighting type. I bet he has the most professional skills in making a person's blood boil with provoking techniques. He lives to be under people's skin and piss them off.
Maybe there are other people who use him to test me to see what I would do and test how violent I would react to his violence. not sure. But when it comes to talk, he is another tabloid with the purpose of provoking and pissing people off.
In a side trail with how assumptions are made: Just because a person is capable of pissing another person off, does not mean it is love or even lust. Just because there are reaction potentials doesn't mean anything. It is possible that a variety of people are capable of knowing what makes other people tick and using it as their own corruption or tactics.
I'm sick of Dane and people like him giving themselves so much credit just because they get hateful and aggressive. It is only a tactic of action. I'm fed up with how arrogant people get and how high of a pedastool they put themselves on just because they make aggressive actions. I'm not impresssed, inspired, or even challenged. Violently challenged, but not intellectually, emotionally, spiritually, mentally, etc. challenged. I hate how high of a pedastool some people put themselves on with violence or even sexual violence or sexuality.
Motivated to keep myself from having to put up with it.
People could say I talk too and it is fair to say. But if people really want to take any kind of talk seriously, I am so disgusted at how much it is unprofessionally dealt with. I am so disgusted at how I am treated and that I feel that people don't know me at all. Even if a person did want to be serious and have a discussion in a completely fair way, it is still MY CHOICE whether or not I want to give any info about myself.
I don't see professionalism, I see tabloids and chaos. I also see emotionally reckless and aggressive people who really have no clue what they are doing. They are not in a calm state of being where a job is seriously trying to get done. They are in an emotional state of being where most really can't handle it.
When I exploded, it was years ago. I am so sick of people desperately coming up with the dumbest excuses to make me the scapegoat, victim, underdog, person who is "responsible or to blame."
Sometimes, I can complain about some people being obsessive, micro managing, anal retentive about some things. It is not necessarily meant to be deragatory when I sometimes make complaints. It is meant to say I think some people are a little obsessively psychotic and overboard. I have had moments of sexually offensive talk; sometimes I can't help but take myself to the offensive level of other people. I'm not always strong enough to ignore. But, I wouldn't describe myself as purposefully being sexually offensive on a regular basis. I'm still offended at sexual correlations, assumptions, how some people feel entitled to call the shots in my life and tell me who I'm dating or married to. Even more ridiculous bullshit of specific people or things said. I'm tired of people writing stories of how I feel. gungho for anorexia.
I can own up to my own emotional rants where it is my own personal life and venting where I am outside of a professional environment. IT IS MUCH DIFFERENT.
But, I'm just sick of some people holding grudges the way they do. The list goes on and on with unfairness and double standards. I could talk about it all day. When I hold grudges, I at least make every effort depending on the setting I'm in, in keeping it that way. I don't think it is fair to be fired not just for sexual discrimination or personal issues, but it also isn't fair to be stalked in every place to be set up to fail because a person can't get over it.
As angry as I am, I will not let one of my rules break about controlling people's emotions and telling people how to think or feel about something. People are entitled to have feelings. I'm just sick of being expected to be screwed over for the sake of how someone may feel esp in the workplace. I'm so fucking sick of the riggings, socialism, and corruption. So fucking sick. And still fuck the Bright and Shiny cult.
I have seen several random foodstamps of Robert Kiel. I was in a psychiatric drugged up state of being last time I came in contact with him, so I don't take it so much with what I said to him. He is another person who I think wants to kill me and is obsessed in both being for and against Asians. He is obsessed with knives and excuses to kill people. He has violent, seriously degrading inhumane, victimizing, demonizing, harsh judgement over the "Mo," issue.
I can't think of any other names or people right now.
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