Yesterday's Continuation: A little mess to clean...

So, the main fact is, I was being stared at by someone or many people on msn. It happens all the time. There are time I think I get stared at on a daily basis. Sometimes it is Kavorkians, other times I feel I am being supported. And then other times, I know I am being stared at and tested in a dominate way. They could still be in the Kavorkian category, but they are so vain that they wouldn't even see theirself as a Kavorkian. They rob me like they are the real leader, and have all the glory and credit in their egocentrism and are my master. … I sent a message to my present guy this morning along the lines of: "Do unfair isolating Russians mess with you R!*k%? I get messed with. Is there anything in particular I should believe about you?" And left it at that. To make a long gibberish short, he pleaded "not guilty." He didn't own anything that has been happening on msn. It is all denied. It was kind of a "what are you talking about?" scene. I wasn't cornered into schizophrenia, but I told him it was like explaining "The Chronicles of Narnia," to him. I was both mad and relieved with "Well R!*k% I guess we don't have any connection at all"....and then my next stigmatic step was my whole shpeal about lying. I told him that if he had anything to get at or for me to believe this was pretty much his chance. I have had guys make me take the fall or kill before for their lies and that if he is lying to me, I'm not taking the fall for his lies. Back to "there was no connection with anything being said on msn or in other Narnia worlds." So, what have I decided to do? I'm staying a sucker for his sweet talker. He keeps me sweet talked and remains a teddy bear. … This is my stare off right now. … If I had to assume who my usual suspects are, I would guess Jon Stewart and he is someone I did recently see on msn. It could be Don Jr. or Jimmy Kimmel and Stacy is definitely portrayed as someone hovering over my life like she has me stalked, owned, and terrorizingly out-faced. Like my life is hers up for grabs. I still havn't been arrested yet Stacy. So whether or not the cops have their own childish and stubborn "I'll arrest you when I feel like it." I'm not being arrested. I think someone was smacking us both around with more bullshit on msn like my debt is the reason I should have to put up with such a dominate bullshit and harassment. She was yelled at over something stupid too. Once again, more drama is happening against my will and my respect. I've had a firm choice and answer, yet I was forced to be faced with more provocations with her and other people. I'm still too blind for more than half of it to know where it came from. It mattered more to me to try to interrupt whatever stare it was and create an awkward moment with my present guy than to feel in more of a severe terror and threat that I am once again continued into the same terror of being robbed and murdered by someone's totalitarian dominance and damnations. Whether or not I was going to lose him, I had to break over whatever terrorizing stare was to my face. I can't stand the threat of being lied to and against and robbed in a never ending way like that. I'm sure the terror may happen on occasion but the serious threats and person who keeps threatening my life in the same ways needs to be found and severely punished. I want them jack-hammered to my face.