As the Sarah Turns: .......Jack

Jack,.... Sorry if I'm a little pestering with all my drama but I really have got to throw myself on you. Part of me feels like a heartless murderer, but David should have thought more during the numerous times he was being one. If we're going another Harry Potter route, Sharon Osbourne is another "Horcrux" of Davids. Aka senator, doll, spokesperson. As much as I hate some Don Draper communication, I have had my moments of letting myself laugh anyway. But, it's really not as funny anymore. There are certain ways I hate feeling sexually harassed and certain ways I hate feeling ignored. I had some rage in my head earlier with how much of a thoughtless Ike Turner I think he is. I could identify myself some as "Karen," but I feel like a Tina Turner more. It's almost like he feels he has the Karen concept mastered to make the next woman understand "been there done that." There were times of being on and off with him and I especially hate looking at his Hank. If his sex addiction were a food addiction, what diet would he ever put himself on? He couldn't go on a diet if he tried! He'd be one of those 500 lb. men who can't even walk around and has to sit in bed. If he were walking around, all you would hear would be : "woo a cupcake stand," "I see a Cheeseburger" "Pizza" "Bacon" ... I feel so ignored by David in many ways. If I seriously sat down and wrote a list with just how many wrongs he has already done, it would be very very long. He was already past the point of no return. I can't fathom why David would want to stay in a relationship with me after saying the things he has already said. WHAT MAN IN THEIR RIGHT MIND COULD EVER EXPECT ANYTHING FROM A WOMAN THAT THEY HAVE ALREADY SEVERELY LET DOWN? AFTER HE HAS ALREADY PUT OTHER WOMEN BEFORE HER? AFTER HE HAS ALREADY MORE THAN DEVALUED HER? HE IS SUCH A PIG TO EXPECT ANYTHING. But that's a thoughtless Don Draper for ya, to snap their chauvinistic fingers around like nothing is on them. While I feel I am already putting the knife a little more deep into David, I feel I could drive it in deeper with: "This is what it means to mean what you say when you dump someone. This is what it means to stop playing someone. This is what it means to cut someone off and make it the end of relationship that it is." It would be rather cold blooded to intentionally include him in this conversation I'm having with you. He's never known what it has meant to stop playing someone. ....... Enough about David. I had to let myself vent and scream a little. Jack, I honestly don't know if we would ever work out. While I can't make a full fledged Draper snob out of you, I'd still probably refer to you as one a little because of your real class of wealth. Your Draper story is different. Most Draper's are already programmed to be forced to wait or be aggressive for. You are more of a play it by ear than a program more than anything. It's a little more difficult in spending time with you. Some programs are the reasons some conversations are made. By programs, I mean tv shows and the most random scattered media that isn't always easy to make the most sense of. Some cats and senators are part of a program too. I usually don't trust all of the "sent it" "senate" people. I know I'm made to question who I'm talking with, but it has always seemed sketchy, shady, and more questionable. I don't know why people send people to do another person's talking. I've always had a problem with it and the way the structure works. I seriously can't have a problem that I know of with the actual lead singer of the Dead Weather. Another favorite songstress of mine is Kelly Rowland and and the song "Representin" I like some of her other songs too. Kelly and Luda have it right with "Representin". I'm sure a lot of celebrities have their own take in talking to people outside of their class, but is it really that much of a problem to have a personal conversation with someone. I've come across a lot of celebrities that are so dominate in conversation; I just don't understand if they realize how dominate, impossible, and sometimes way too snotty they are? What's your take in to talking to everyday people? While I can't completely hate your Draper, you do come across as a similar dominate communicator. "WE NEVER SAID WE WERE EQUAL. WE NEVER WISHED TO BE SAVED." lol ahahhaha! Oh Jack, are we both always going to be on each others other side of the world?

You're still my nigger

David,...... We're still not on good terms, but sometimes I stay in my own up to date leisure and keep you informed. I havn't liked the way things have been looking in my blindside for a long time and not knowing for sure where some attacks come from. I can't get over how much of a bully you are. You're your own paranoid, mean, mostly dumb, and evil hater of a man. I'm seriously not impressed with your Homer at all. Your ugly brings the ugly out of me. Intentional test or no test, what did you expect? I know you probably do feel insulted at just how much I insult your games. I think your intentional stockholms will always be this neverending motive of "whatever makes you feel you have me beat." Just find a more straight forward way to say the way you want to take me for what I'm worth and save yourself some time. You'll take me for what I'm worth either way. You're a bully with a sick motive. Half of the time, I really do take your mind fucks as begging, but sometimes it seems you turn into this violently egotistical and maniacal vain pig "begging isn't what it means at all, baby." I don't really know how to explain you or your possible violent and hateful sadism to myself. ........ I'm almost finished with Californication. I made it to Season 6. What a sad song ending at the end. I have further comment on that and your rampant sex addiction, but I'm going to wait until I finish all of Californication before I make my own commentary. ..... While you make me your mutant retard for Gillian one minute; you make her cry another minute when you're still sleeping with and fucking around with me. Today is another marriage proposal for Gillian...... I just started on Aquarius yesterday... Just in the knick of time before the first episode was taken off.... It won't make a difference whether or not I'm late on catching up on Aquarius. There are so many more numbers of ways you're way too late for me and my will to care. Once again, I share quite a few characters. Grace looks like she could be Gillian that you're keeping me lied against and date raped with. Grace was the one I was originally guessing as Angelina, but you're probably still fucking around with her too. That was an interesting way to make up my jealousy against Gillian. While you may be wanting me to be a dog chasing my own tail in keeping your Don dogged and her as your Betty, it is another mean act against me. I hate your lies, games, and bullshit. You probably do want me to go the route that you direct as Sam's ex wife. ~shaking my head at your games~ So who is Charles Manson supposed to be anymore? He doesn't look like Ashton Kutcher. You might as well use his character as Jack's scapegoat, or whichever one you want to be jealous over. I don't like the way I'm being looked at with Emma either. I know I originally confused Charles Manson and Jeffrey Dahmer but it was Charles Manson that I was using to rip on Maggie Bell at one time. She is another guilty rapist retard bitch that you could want to rape me for. I saw what you did to Stacy too with Manson's red-headed newcomer that he met at the dumpster. So, I'm supposed to be mistaken about Stacy? It doesn't take away the rape and Scottish dominance over my life she has already committed. You still had no right to threaten my life for her white trash rapist shit. I know I'm still your underdog in several ways and I might as well be talking to a brick wall when I keep you in my dog house, but you being in my dog house IS SOMETHING I'LL ALWAYS KNOW WHETHER YOU ACT IT OR NOT AND DENY MY CREDIBLE TRUTH OR NOT. You're still my nigger.