Matt

David, I really don't think you are intentionally here in my life because of Matt. .... I get the way it is all eyes on me and the situation is an impossible and isolated situation on both ends. I will not repeat what I said, but I resent that I ever said it and I do have the most sincere apology to offer Matt. When I said it, I was sluggish, depressed, on my "schizophrenic" meds, and in my own personal despair in another state of time. I know I never intended to ruin the rest of Matt's life, nor was a tyrant about it. I know what I'm not guilty of. The tyranny and gang rape I have lived with is unfathomable and beyond ridiculous. If I am being punished for Matt; that is their extremism and choice to have taken my terrible comment way too far. I do not know who my "they" are. .......... In regards to you; I wish I could take myself out of my state of panic, but I can't. Although you could feel humiliated; I feel ultimately humiliated and ultimately raped and it isn't something I can emotionally or psychologically take. You drove me insane and made me go mad and if I can at least make you feel humiliated in some way; more power to me. I hate the death that is in my life right now and I don't understand why you are killing me in such a severe way. I've gone mad and have gone.