But not all said

Something is not open for conversation and especially, if serious, it needs to be made an open conversation. First off, I remember a comment I said awhile ago. It was along the lines of "men spreading their seed." It still is true; it just varies with seriousness and responsibility amongst men. There is also a family I have been told several times that I look related to, and I'm sure that I'm not related. .... If I were seriously being looked at in a certain way, I can't help but wonder what is in their mind. I have a big blush, but am stunned and paralyzed. I have set a few roadblocks in the way but the only one I am bringing in the open is there a look that comes with some kind of specific reason I could be getting looked at the way I am? My only child's father is still my enemy to this day, so it just can't be a rescue trap. Because there could be a serious choice in wanting to, I don' think it would be as much of a nightmare if it did happen. Is there a serious reason or purpose or symbol? Or, is it just the present season of the year? I still have other roadblocks, but I see the ways I feel more gained on and blocked in and he can't suffocate me into silence like that.