Anderson, I really don't know why you are so pissed at me today, but you are so offensive.
Are you seriously calling me a real hooker? Are you seriously accusing me of that? People have talked trash on me before, but coming from you, it really is disappointing for you to even think of looking at me like that. I think you're going extreme and overboard with some of the stripper statements that I've made.
It is upsetting to see some of your actions and that I have to be more doubtful of you with some things. You fail to see the degradation in David. Another side thought is overassumptiveness. I like David Grey's music for the cd. I am so sick of being the one who is responsible for the assumptions that other people make. Back to the original thought with David. You are making my life so much worse and more dangerous that you would open a door to him like that into my life. I know he is purposefully making one statement into his own context to be serious (sexaholic, sex addiction) so that I will feel "inferior," and "intimidated," by him. "Dr. David" Anderson, this is pathetic. It is degrading for him to give himself the entitlement to judgementally degrade me into "thinking that I need his sex education." You are so offensive Anderson and it is pissing me off. Further, it is most likely going to be a danger to me in the drama that it will create in my world. You must have taken some kind of note in some of the people I'm working with in my pregnancy. Regardless of what you think of my sister, I think she is desperately psycho and going to use this as another reason to go psycho on me.
I'm already overwhelmed by enough predatory men in my life; I don't need an additional to try to make me his conquest and aggressively make me feel inadequate. I also don't need the extra drama in my life over something I wasn't responsible of in the first place.
Why, Anderson, Why?
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Thoughts of the day
lol I have my first follower in one of my blog titles. I actually didn't do too bad when I was blogging on Myspace and had a large number. I think this blog site definitely works better than the old. It has been so long since I have been on Myspace.
Anyway, today is another lazy day. January is still more of a busy month but I still can't stand the cabin fever. I have some things to do around the house. I was listening to one of my U2 cd's today and know that that cd will definitely be one of my cd's to listen to when I am in labor. Besides gliding with the lyrics, I felt a little bad to remember that there is some kind of battle going on between U2 and Coldplay. Had I never felt so thrown into the matrix, I probably wouldn't be so egocentric, but it is one of those things that I can't help but think my thoughts really matter as to whose side I am on with Coldplay and U2. I don't even know what the battle is about. As far as I know, it isn't anything that is too severe. I hated discovering one matrix connection with Coldplay and how things ended up with a share or connection that I had met. I just don't want to imagine the lead singer of Coldplay being that type of guy. I don't always trust or seriously believe everything I hear, but sometimes I wonder about the extent of truth to some of the things that do get wired. I've been to a Coldplay concert, but have yet to go to a U2 concert. None the less, I still am a major fan of them both. It is a little more awkward though with the one connection with Coldplay. I'm not sure how I would be responsive to them if it were to be taken with truth or I would ever see them again in the matrix. Sometimes, I wonder if he has a share on House. I think it is possible that one of my literal Dr's could be having a share with House.
In other thoughts, the baby's father was in the spotlight again. I think it is funny that just in one night people are given so much to work with. I still don't have full trust in the system. I don't know how to take the girlfriend thing. It could go in one of two ways and if he were claiming me as his girlfriend, I would remain anorexic to it. So gamblers, there is your gambled answer. In playing with another thought of how he expressed his self image, I'm not sure about that either. During the night, I could tell him and his friends was some kind of matrix set up and he even was giving mixed signals about being straight or gay. So what did I do? I asked. We later got a room that night. Yeah, the whole acting thing was a little immature with whatever type of game that he was playing. I would think that he would just be straight forward about it. If he really wasn't that sexually interested, he would have done something to really get that point across. He didn't. I was out to have fun anyway, so I really didn't make a big deal about whatever matrix game was going on. As for having my own personal opinion? I can see how he could call himself a pretty boy, but I think he could also qualify as a macho guy or meathead. Heck, he works as a fire fighter. I think pretty boys or even metro boys are usually stereotyped to be gay, but macho men or meatheads could be bisexual or gay too. I don't think a person's sense of fashion is always the indicator of sexual preference. Some do use it to give a more obvious impression. I really don't know him that well to say a comparison of how much I would think he is a pretty boy to a meathead. I definitely think he is judgemental and one-sided. That is some kind of chauvenism. Nothing else has changed though. If attempts to keep him calm are working, than I hope he is calm. I havn't been in contact with him and don't know when I will get around to making LITERAL AND PERSONAL contact with him.
In other thoughts, not a whole lot is new. I always feel like I am getting tested and it varies to how annoying it can be. I really don't have a lot to say or a lot of time to want to invest with several ways I have been tested. It is just something I am writing off. With a few certain people, I really don't know how much it would affect me or my baby's survival. I don't know if some threats should be taken seriously. I do brush off and write off the intimidation but wonder if my life could be in serious jeapardy. Well, I really have gotten death threats but this instance of being threatened and tested is different. It may turn into an eventual bridge to cross, but I'm just giving the usual unresponsive stare to the people who are entitling themselves to be so testing.
Anyway, today is another lazy day. January is still more of a busy month but I still can't stand the cabin fever. I have some things to do around the house. I was listening to one of my U2 cd's today and know that that cd will definitely be one of my cd's to listen to when I am in labor. Besides gliding with the lyrics, I felt a little bad to remember that there is some kind of battle going on between U2 and Coldplay. Had I never felt so thrown into the matrix, I probably wouldn't be so egocentric, but it is one of those things that I can't help but think my thoughts really matter as to whose side I am on with Coldplay and U2. I don't even know what the battle is about. As far as I know, it isn't anything that is too severe. I hated discovering one matrix connection with Coldplay and how things ended up with a share or connection that I had met. I just don't want to imagine the lead singer of Coldplay being that type of guy. I don't always trust or seriously believe everything I hear, but sometimes I wonder about the extent of truth to some of the things that do get wired. I've been to a Coldplay concert, but have yet to go to a U2 concert. None the less, I still am a major fan of them both. It is a little more awkward though with the one connection with Coldplay. I'm not sure how I would be responsive to them if it were to be taken with truth or I would ever see them again in the matrix. Sometimes, I wonder if he has a share on House. I think it is possible that one of my literal Dr's could be having a share with House.
In other thoughts, the baby's father was in the spotlight again. I think it is funny that just in one night people are given so much to work with. I still don't have full trust in the system. I don't know how to take the girlfriend thing. It could go in one of two ways and if he were claiming me as his girlfriend, I would remain anorexic to it. So gamblers, there is your gambled answer. In playing with another thought of how he expressed his self image, I'm not sure about that either. During the night, I could tell him and his friends was some kind of matrix set up and he even was giving mixed signals about being straight or gay. So what did I do? I asked. We later got a room that night. Yeah, the whole acting thing was a little immature with whatever type of game that he was playing. I would think that he would just be straight forward about it. If he really wasn't that sexually interested, he would have done something to really get that point across. He didn't. I was out to have fun anyway, so I really didn't make a big deal about whatever matrix game was going on. As for having my own personal opinion? I can see how he could call himself a pretty boy, but I think he could also qualify as a macho guy or meathead. Heck, he works as a fire fighter. I think pretty boys or even metro boys are usually stereotyped to be gay, but macho men or meatheads could be bisexual or gay too. I don't think a person's sense of fashion is always the indicator of sexual preference. Some do use it to give a more obvious impression. I really don't know him that well to say a comparison of how much I would think he is a pretty boy to a meathead. I definitely think he is judgemental and one-sided. That is some kind of chauvenism. Nothing else has changed though. If attempts to keep him calm are working, than I hope he is calm. I havn't been in contact with him and don't know when I will get around to making LITERAL AND PERSONAL contact with him.
In other thoughts, not a whole lot is new. I always feel like I am getting tested and it varies to how annoying it can be. I really don't have a lot to say or a lot of time to want to invest with several ways I have been tested. It is just something I am writing off. With a few certain people, I really don't know how much it would affect me or my baby's survival. I don't know if some threats should be taken seriously. I do brush off and write off the intimidation but wonder if my life could be in serious jeapardy. Well, I really have gotten death threats but this instance of being threatened and tested is different. It may turn into an eventual bridge to cross, but I'm just giving the usual unresponsive stare to the people who are entitling themselves to be so testing.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Thoughts and talk
This weekend was alright. I definitely have a busy month ahead of me and am excited that I won't be sitting around the house as much or bored. I'm also looking forward to my knitting hobby. I won a free raffle with a free baby pattern book and it is a small thrill and blessing for me. I also have a class coming up where I will learn to make a baby sweater. I'll eventually make a sweater for myself but I will be learning the basics of clothing. I've already learned quite a bit of accessories and am excited to branch off of the basics and throw in a mix of things to come up with my own creations for accessories. I think I'm going to be looking for a part time job sooner that I would have originally planned. I've already been jobless long enough, but before I wait to get a full time, I have to have at least some kind of financial relief. Speaking of, I think I've already been tested too much and it has already been past the point of no return with my patience, but I got a laugh today when Anderson tested my patience with finances. Well Anderson, like Kathy Gifford anyway (I think Griffin and her have shares) I do have times where I don't take myself so seriously. The Kathy drama is still going on. I really havn't been paying too much close attention but have some attention. I claim myself as anorexic to her having any shares with either of their names and play the role of "friends are just close enemies." I still hate that I feel I can't get rid of various friends of my past. I hate that I know to this day I sometimes still get judged by past associations.
In other thoughts. The spotlight of the baby's father is growing. I'll start calling him John now. I don't really consider myself growing any warmer to him. I think I'm realizing some things more for myself though: I just don't trust him in a number of ways. I may be more detailed or elaborate in later times. I can say while I know we are not engaged or getting married or anything; I look at him like Linda looks at Adam in the movie "Anger Management." If we were ever together or if I were to ever move in (and if I ever had the money to really do anything for myself) I really would see it as Anger Management. I'm sure he probably already has his bad thoughts and talk about me. That is part of my point: He is his first priority. While it is his free will to put himself first, I would never let myself be more damned than how my life has been damned by so many other things for him. It was never my fault to be this damned to begin with. But, I would do everything in my ability to prevent him from having any more control over damnation or hurting me for himself.
I think there are some people who are being nice to him so everything stays calm and where there is no serious drama. I don't have any strong feelings about it, and it is something he is on his own on. In just the day I was with him, I did find him to be attractive. I like Pitbull's music. I have already naturally gotten my groove on before there was ever a share with John. In just the night, it would have a better picture painting of what the real setting of the night was and that we both knew we were having fun. I still don't have too much trust in what the matrix says. I don't know if it is true or not if he has really been with my sister or has any kind of attachment or if he wants to use her to control me. I don't care if Pitbull makes it popular; Hell no with you me and my sister John. HELL NO
I know the video's story line or lyrics aren't an accurate match either.
I know a player is a player, but my sister? I'm not crazy about his other player moves either. He is still not on my good side.
In other thoughts, it varies with how my blogs are bridged with other people. Especially with how the Chicago theme has gone, I think he is going to be the type to have a victimization contest over gossip and exploits. I think he is going to want to be trapping about it with the technicalities.
I don't really have a lot of other things on my mind right now.
In other thoughts. The spotlight of the baby's father is growing. I'll start calling him John now. I don't really consider myself growing any warmer to him. I think I'm realizing some things more for myself though: I just don't trust him in a number of ways. I may be more detailed or elaborate in later times. I can say while I know we are not engaged or getting married or anything; I look at him like Linda looks at Adam in the movie "Anger Management." If we were ever together or if I were to ever move in (and if I ever had the money to really do anything for myself) I really would see it as Anger Management. I'm sure he probably already has his bad thoughts and talk about me. That is part of my point: He is his first priority. While it is his free will to put himself first, I would never let myself be more damned than how my life has been damned by so many other things for him. It was never my fault to be this damned to begin with. But, I would do everything in my ability to prevent him from having any more control over damnation or hurting me for himself.
I think there are some people who are being nice to him so everything stays calm and where there is no serious drama. I don't have any strong feelings about it, and it is something he is on his own on. In just the day I was with him, I did find him to be attractive. I like Pitbull's music. I have already naturally gotten my groove on before there was ever a share with John. In just the night, it would have a better picture painting of what the real setting of the night was and that we both knew we were having fun. I still don't have too much trust in what the matrix says. I don't know if it is true or not if he has really been with my sister or has any kind of attachment or if he wants to use her to control me. I don't care if Pitbull makes it popular; Hell no with you me and my sister John. HELL NO
I know the video's story line or lyrics aren't an accurate match either.
I know a player is a player, but my sister? I'm not crazy about his other player moves either. He is still not on my good side.
In other thoughts, it varies with how my blogs are bridged with other people. Especially with how the Chicago theme has gone, I think he is going to be the type to have a victimization contest over gossip and exploits. I think he is going to want to be trapping about it with the technicalities.
I don't really have a lot of other things on my mind right now.
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