Too much static

Not completely sure if I'm understanding you Tom. There are times where I feel where it is fun with you and I, but I don't completely trust what is going on. Am I talking to the real you, or are people using you to manipulate me? Not just manipulating me for their sake but what if you're being talked about and it is or isn't the truth? It is too difficult right now to completely trust in anything. Maybe you have such a bigger madness about trusting the truth and that is why you would become a scientologist. I don't want to go there yet and religion isn't in my head right now. ...............I love some of the company you give if it is the truth.....some company I'm not sure of....Tom, about the movies.... I'm already behind on the Netflix list I have. Sometimes it is hard to watch movies around the house when I do have the time because I do have a baby around. I will make the time though. Not just because you tell me to either. I love to explore. Some frustration still with pretend and how it counts in spending time with you and getting to know you. I know I'm nonchalantly having somewhat of a conversation; sometimes my own blogs or talk keep me calm. I feel relieved you understand there is serious stuff going on in my life. Survival isn't simple. There is still such a pressure and waiting and angst. I feel left a little hanging. I'm so anxious. Even if the obvious assumptive suggestion on the table is never met or come in to place, you have a piece of my heart. What a fact of life you are. You are the reason to having some of my anxiety and it is harder to keep to myself. Sorry if Tom doesn't want Sarah to speak but speak, Sarah must. ....goodnight xoxoxoxoxo