As long as you're still the same nightmare

You're still a nightmare that is not worth it. I know the note Edward and I left on. Edward was his own idiot to continue to question or test what I thought of the same dumb other women. I take it as you identifying with "Edward." You still don't want or love me enough. I want every last woman you threatened me with and subjected me to, to be made a slave to my and especially your face. WHOEVER YOU AND THEY EVER THOUGHT THEY WERE TO EXPRESS DOMINANCE ON ME. You were nothing but a pig who never had what it took to make me fight for your love. Your women were nothing but dumb savage pig retards who were going to rape me to death with their retard queen complex. You have always been the same nightmare AND I DON'T GET WHY YOU THINK MY ANSWERS WOULD EVER CHANGE. YOU CAN'T CONTROL HOW I THINK OF YOU OR THEM AND I WILL ALWAYS TREAT YOU AS RAPIST LOWLIFE WORMS. If I ever find a man I demand him to be straight and monogamous. It has always been my ideal it always will be. How dare you threaten to keep me played with your dumb savage women. How dare you not give up on me and continue on with your same dumbass game that I've always hated you for. YOU DON'T LOVE ME ENOUGH AND I HAVE MORE THAN NOTICED THAT. ENOUGH IS NOT EVEN CLOSE TO ENOUGH. I DON'T NEED A MAN LIKE YOU IN MY LIFE. I WANT YOU TO GO AWAY AND LEAVE ME ALONE. MY IDEALISM WILL NEVER CHANGE.

As the Sarah Turns

It has been a rough week. A long week. I know I'm still not understanding someone's structure now and I don't know the extent of its corruption and sense of reason or sensibility. I won't always know how much of a truth I'm being told or how lied to I am. I know I'm probably being lied about and that people could want to give themselves a twisted credit. I was upset a little at just how quiet one of my crush's were. He eventually opened up a little more but I figured out another important piece of info through someone else. He has kept me guessing for awhile over several things and even if we were never in a relationship together; it matters to me that he is on my good side and doesn't go on my bad side. I can't always figure him out or guess him out but I'm guessing that he is sticking with his girl friend. Ho hum. There will always be other fish in the sea. Whatever scattered information, my best stress was that I am the exclusive type. I'm not open, wanting to be bisexual, and/or in an orgy. I know some men could especially want to be manipulative with my job role as an adult entertainer, but it is just that: a job. .... I wish I had more to talk about or more to say, but this is all I can think to talk of for now.