Dear Jon

I really wasn't completely understanding your French interrogation. I think it was two things that are both contradicting: You may once again want me to feel insecure and at the same time you care to question not "if," but "why," ??? I love you. I'm also anorexic to the relationship if you were insinuating you were Nicholas and I was the first lady. You're fairy dust has already gone far enough but yet you still like to sprinkle some around sometimes. Anyway, I'll be fair to say that I can be emotional. It could be called love but I would never see you the way I saw you before. I don't see myself as necessarily caving into you either. I see it as being aware that I have emotions but although I can't clearly define them, they aren't the same emotions and I don't have the same love I had for you before. But besides defining emotions and love is your question: why? That is another question I don't know or can answer right now. I may years later down the road, but I really don't know why I have the emotions that I do, I just do. As for Sacha, his shamelessness despite his acting persona is still a sick shame. Both you and him when you were playing around with photography and making sick jokes with the baby. It isn't anything against Putin; I simply detest your freakishness on this occassion and on top of the freakishness the shamelessness makes it even more detesting, freakish, and disgusting. As for further testing even including any swan drama, I really don't care that much right now. You would test hurting me at a time where only you would even look more like a pig and some psycho who lives to do nothing but want to hurt me. While there still isn't much I can do to help myself, in my world, you only hurt your own image. I really meant it with you and Sacha about the dictatorship and the tyranny. The only person who can ever be responsible for communism is the communist themself. I also meant it when I cussed a Sacha awhile ago for his psychotic NY article.